Personality is something that we may or may not talk but affects our lives in a huge way. The need to be a likeable individual who is readily accepted is a need that we all want to satisfy. Surely everyone wants to develop a personality that is desirable to oneself. One of the best investment in life is to invest in oneself.

If you have decided to invest in yourself and be a better person, then surely you are wise enough to understand the fact that personality is something which is not permanent but dynamic. It is something which is ever-evolving and grows with you every day and you can strongly influence it and determine its course of growth towards your own goals and ambitions.

Knowing Personality for Personality Development

Why we need to understand Personality?

We have been using this term, ‘Personality’ a lot. Some people have a magnetic personality, some have positive while some have a negative personality. Some people are repulsive and boring while some are interesting. Some people are liked by all and are always welcome to the pack while some are……. Ah, leave it.   We must clearly understand what we mean by personality so that we can lay a strong foundation for personality development. How can we grow and develop something without understanding the ‘ins and out’ of it?

But before we dwell further on the topic, lets understand what personality is.

1. Is it the way he/she dress, walk and talk, the hair-style, the sunglasses, the radiant skin?
2. Is it the attitude,  the confidence, sense of humor, guts etc ?

Which from the above can be said to be the fullest definitions of personality. The statement 1 or statement 2 or both combined.

Just like there is a disease, it has symptoms, similarly there is personality and then there are personality statements that project a personality. A person being confident from inside will have straight and upright walk while an under-confident person will have an energy less walk and will hardly look up straight into the eye. We often confuse the personality with the outer projection of personality.

Wait here !

Personality is a combination of all this. The inner-outer dynamics and what you consciously choose to project and what you choose to hold back.

Defining Personality

Personality is something unique in you. It is your individuality and is reflected in its consistency. It means if you are a non-punctual ‘late-commer’, then your unique trait of being late is consistent. You are consistently late and thus develops this component of your personality.

Your personality sets you apart from the crowd. It makes you your own version of yourself. Personality stems from inside and also forms your outer personality.

Personality influences your behaviour but not dictates it. Personality is your permanent traits and their outer projections. Your outer projections of clothing, accessories, style etc if not done consciously are automatically shaped by inner personality.

Personality: Commonality to Individuality

Being a part of the group, there are certain things you will share with the group. To be set apart from the crowd, you need to be in the crowd and then look different.

Being a part of the Homo Sapien Sapiens group, we have some part of our personality which is similar for other human beings. The need to be loved, to love, to be respected, to be relevant etc are the needs which everybody wants. Now comes personality into the play which will give you your idiosyncrasies and will shape your typical behaviour. It will forge your unique talent. You will now see and perceive yourself in a much different manner. The meet the common needs your solutions will be customised as per your abilities. For example if the group of homo sapiens have a shared need to be a good dancer, but your choice of dance will be your personality, you can be a flamenco, hip-hop, salsa or any such dancer which will make ‘you’ a unique individual amongst others.

Some people will try to be a rock star to be a different person while other can try to become surgeon, some will feel unique by being a social worker while other may choose to be an activist. And if all people are trying to be that much different then some will try to become an average routine person to be unique.

Where does this “Personality” come from?

How do  you get “Personality”?

Is it by inheritance – embedded in your DNA, is it innate, do you learn from the environment – the family, school, college etc, do you learn it from your experience, is it shaped by your ambitions and goals. Can it be shaped by your view of the world and how the world has responded and then your feedback to it. Like you expected your bestie to support you in a fight but bestie choose to remain neutral and you either will become less trustful towards your friends or you’ll aim to become a self reliant person.

Personality is due to all the above mentioned factors. The type of household you are born surely plays a role. Mom-Dad regularly fights or are supportive of each other, you want to be a businessman or a teacher, you see world as some slugfest match or peaceful individuals living and making earning everyday, your experience of people being good or bad. We are not born into isolation, we shape the world and the world shapes us too.

Personality: Weed-out Concept (VERY IMPORTANT)

Personality is not permanent, it is dynamic. It grows and changes. Now don’t become Alice in Wonderland. Changes can be negative or positive and growth can lead to either good or bad consequences. The only thing about personality is that it will surely change. Changes can be gradual but their effects are significant.

A garden when cultivated intelligently and consciously will become a beautiful one. But if left alone then, it dosent mean the it will stop to grow. The growth will be there but it’ll be wildness. There will be weeds and unwanted grass. It will change either attended or left unattended. The thing is that if left unattended then the beautiful garden will become wilderness.

Similarly, our personality will change, we may choose to attend to it or let it change by itself. If consciously dealt, then we can have all the beautiful flowers of discipline, positive attitude, pleasing personality etc. If left unattended then we may develop the weeds of lethargy, lackadaisical approach, incompetence, rusted skills etc.

The choice is totally yours !

Better make it worthwhile or be a weed.

Rajat Jhingan