We are all hungry for growth. We want to be our best version and a better person. When we wake up in the morning we should be a much-improved person by the night, because the previous day has added something valuable in our growth. We grow every day, rather we should grow and learn daily. Isn’t that why we want to go for ‘Personality Development’? We want people to know us, recognise us, accept us. We want to be at the centre stage, the spotlight.

Personality Development is a very wide concept and it includes both the inner and outer aspects of one’s personality. The good news is that personality can be shaped the way a person wants. Let us understand how to develop a positive personality.

Personality Development is a Continuous Effort

Personality is dynamic and multi-faceted. Personality is always under development. New experiences add to it daily. Just like the gardener need to take care of his beautifully cultivated garden, lest the weeds will grow, something will grow in the garden anyhow similarly, we need to take care of our personality too. Something will be added to it, but if left unattended, then the weeds of bad habits will grow in our personality. That’s why we undertake personality development and should actively pursue it.

Before going for personality development, it is important to know the concept of personality. How well do you know and can define personality? It is important, because if you know it better then you can implement it more effectively. Read this article to know about personality.

First of all congratulations for your decision to invest in the most awesome and ever-rewarding asset, i.e. yourself and your personality.  Remember that personality development must be a ‘genuine effort’, you cannot fake it. A fake smile or a greeting can be noticed by all, remember that you are interacting with humans and they also have feelings just like you. If you can spot fakeness in others, then others can also spot in you. Also remember that ‘Personality Development’, is not a one time even or a carnival. It is never ending journey to better than the previous day. It is never that you undertake a personality development project now and after its complete then you can take a vacation from it. We don’t know when the weeds can come back fast. Maintain the vigil. The habits which will make you a successful person , needed to be maintained even after you have got the success.

7 Important Tips to Improve Your Personality Instantly

1. Active Listener

Let’s start with the thing which looks easy and do-able. You have it in you and can achieve it fast. We always have a lot to tell, to speak and to convey. We are in a hurry to speak. We listen to the other person in a hurry and without giving feedback and start our own story. This alienates the other person and he loses interest in us. Plus if we are not listening, then we don’t know the mood of the other person, his perspective, the agenda and his purpose. This leads to wasteful conversation which is negative in many senses. It creates confusion.

On the contrary, let’s see it like this, every person wants to be heard and taken care of. Everyone needs social and emotional pampering. If you are the one who is ready to listen, to understand, to invest your time in other people then you’ll find that people will naturally get attracted to you. But be genuine. Take interest in people. Nod at frequent intervals, don’t play with a smartphone while listening, don’t put your hand in pocket, maintain eye contact. If you do all these, it shows disrespect. But if you are listening with interest, then followup questions will be there. You’ll find that people will come to you and will tell you their deepest secrets.

2. Optimistic Person

People love encouragement and support. Nobody wants to sit with the people who are a pessimist. A pessimist is one who says that the sun shines to cast shadows. No one wants to associate with such people. Optimistic people attract others, their network increases, they are energy centres for other people. They become an inspiration for other people. If you cannot contribute anything then there is no harm in saying a few positive and encouraging words. This can mean a lot for somebody, it will motivate them and lift their morale. People will come to you and you’ll be seen as an inspiring figure.

Being upbeat, receptive and encouraging is a good thing. You should contribute positively to the society in general and the other person in particular. These things eventually comes back. Additionally, you’ll find that you are developing habit to look at things in a more positive manner or in a manner that you are receptive to solutions.

3. Don’t be a Clown

Don’t try to make everyone happy. There is always a particular group of people in the society in which you don’t want to be accepted or want encouragement from. There could be such anti-social elements from whom you are not wanting an audience. Even in normal life also, you cannot keep ignoring your views to accommodate others. I am not asking you to be frank, straight-forward and a brutal talker. What is being emphasized is that you must never compromise on your basic things and fundamentals which you have decided for yourself and that’s non-negotiable. Plus those who will understand your point of view will be cherished friends for life and those who don’t identify to your values, it’s better that they are not entertained.

Here the main point emphasized is that you should not and must not compromise your own values to accommodate others. Listening to other people and adapting is one thing, that is called growth and consensus-building, but sacrificing your values to accommodate other people is detrimental to your own personality. Remember, there are certain red lines in every relationship, human transactions and even conversations which shall never be crossed. So, maintain your own identity, in a softer but firm manner.

4. Display Factor

Now moving to other parts of interpersonal skills of your personality. Let’s go to your display. Your clothing and style. Yes, am talking about your dressing sense. Wear clean clothes and have a genuine smile on your face. Don’t smile unnecessarily but stay optimistic. People avoid sitting next to a person who looks sad. Maintain your hygiene, if you wear spectacles then wear the one which suits your face. Iron your clothes and polish your shoes. Dress up according to the venue. You don’t wear a capri and call that formal clothing. These small things make a great difference. Another person who does not know you try to gather information and judge you from these outers cues. A self-confident person is normally good in these things. For his time management is so good that he can take care of all the things.  First, you need to take yourself seriously, then society will start taking you seriously.

Looks do matter, but this does not mean that you should be like a Calvin Klein Model always. Being a better version of yourself is important. You live and manifest your existence. Do it your way, but define your style. Being hygienic and clean clothing is nothing about style but more about your health and well-being. When we talk about display, then we always mean what is acceptable in a given social situation and the given set of people.

5. Inner-Outer Combination

Personality is like a building. What you see on the super-structure, there is much deeper below it, the foundation. Yes, we have inner and outer personality and they are very intricately woven. A person who is confident from inside will reflect his confidence in his speech, posture, clothing, punctuality etc. Personality is not a watertight approach, it is a full-grown system. A person who is internally motivated will motivate and energise others too. You cannot choose to work on only one facet of personality and ignore the other. It is a cumulative effect. A hundred things inside improve by 1% and you improve fully by 10% as compared to yesterday.

There is no strait-jacket formula. Sometimes you work inside-out and sometimes you work outside-in. To put it simply, when you feel good then you like to listen to upbeat music, want to go out, dress properly etc. Similarly, sometimes when you listen to good music or in a particular outfit, you feel nice and confident. So, humans are not machines where some written algorithms will programme them. We are humans and that matters.

6. No Negatives Please

If you practice this, then you’ll be greatly reducing the stress and uncalled politics from your life. You have done these types of mistakes in your school, college, office and home. You think you are blurting your heart, but you are doing a great blunder. If you are talking negatively about your friend to some person, then can you guarantee that the ‘other person’ will never turn against you and the secret will be out. Sometimes you say things which you don’t mean but can harm the other person much deeper inside and can damage the relationship irreversibly. There are many consequences you don’t want, so better don’t set the things in motion which leads to these. Plus if you are not giving feedback and not getting anything from all this, then don’t do this. This is gossip. And gossip always results in politics which in the end destroys relationships.

Negativity begets negativity. Try not to be a part of this spiral and break free. Maintaining your peace of mind and positive outlook is much important than to fit in a group and adhere to its norms which you are well aware are not in your best interests. You may encounter people which always have a negative or pessimistic outlook on almost everything. What should you do? Runaway from such people. Protect your mind. Such people are infected and contagious. Associate with positive and progressive-minded individuals. It will add to your growth and your personality.

7. Discipline

The last one is the biggest daddy on the list. Discipline, yes it is. Want to be a determined person, who decides, lock the target and achieves it? If your answer is yes, then the only thing which can help you is discipline. Develop strong routine habits, regulate and control your days, wake up early and at a fixed time. Have predictability about these things so that you can plan well. Have a kick-start positive routine.  Be it the toughest day of your life, remember that it shall also pass and a new day comes with new possibilities. Stay optimistic. Develop punctuality. Value your time so that time values you. Take yourself seriously and enjoy your life and don’t forget to smile.

In Scarface movie, a dialogue is, “every day above the ground is a good day”. Yes, it indeed is. Till you have breath, you have hope. Hope not to give up. Discipline is something which is not alien. How you develop discipline? how much time and effort it takes? are not the right questions. The right questions are, Is your dream or goal worth the effort? Do you want it so badly? Are you willing to pay the price to achieve your goal? If yes, then go for it. Discipline is not something you order online. It comes from within. It comes from your determination to achieve your goal. It will stay until you’ll achieve your goal and then you’ll move further up the ladder of success and fulfilment.

Go ahead with this improvement prescription and make yourself better, sharper and focussed than your yesterday. Make every day of your life important and wonderful and don’t forget to grow. This article gives you “7 Important Tips to Improve Your Personality Instantly“, which must be applied in your day to day life. To live is to grow. A bright and positive personality is an asset for the individual, a charm for the family and a gem for the society.

Rajat Jhingan